Long time no update, yeah? Yeah.
I really don't see the reason to keep this updated, no one ever comments on my stuff so I don't even know if anyone else is reading what I write, and if they are they obviously don't care enough to say anything. It's just like Facebook, all I get is likes, no one actually talks to me. It makes me feel invisible and insignificant, and I don't like it.
Life sucks. If I didn't have a family that I love very much and care too much about to put them through such an ordeal, I wouldn't bother with trying to do life. It seems so difficult, trying to live and be happy when everything is against you.
Things were going great for awhile, our jobs were pretty great; the pay was excellent, the hours weren't bad at all, and being able to be done with work around 1pm despite being up at 3am was good too. The work wasn't difficult either, unless the stuff was glass or frozen stuff (Read: I HATED doing either of those) but being able to just go in a store, get your plan-o-gram and get to work without anyone hovering over you and working till you were done was nice, the time flew by so long as we were working. When we ran out of stuff to do was when it sucked, because having to wait for EVERYONE to get done was so boring, and I hated rotating product (That should be the Publix employees jobs, not ours)
Of course the good things can't ever last for us. Both myself and my Mom got really sick at the same time, I got tonsillitis (WHICH SUCKED) and she ended up with Strep Throat since she doesn't have tonsils anymore. We were both out of commission for a week, we didn't want to be but we had no choice.
We went back to work the following week, and then the next week we didn't get to work. And the next. And the next. One of the guys that had been out had come back and now there was no space for us, or any hours for us to use. It's been more than a month since we've gotten to work and it's awful.
I was going to purchase this awesome shed, a larger version of the shed my grandmother had that I had wanted forever, and was on my way to getting it when we more or less lost our jobs. I'm still very upset about it.
Once again it's back to job hunting, and it's murder on the heart and soul. I got another interview for Build-A-Bear, went to it, and again was rejected. Apparently I wasn't a 'good fit' for the store since I spoke negatively of my previous employers. SHE FREAKING ASKED ME TO TELL HER ABOUT A BAD TIME AT A PREVIOUS JOB! What was I supposed to do? Lie? Does honesty mean nothing anymore? Is the world supposed to be comprised of fake people who consistently lie to your face about everything? I'm not a liar, I don't ever try to be something I'm not, I don't act like I'm better than anyone at anything and don't pretend like I know everything ABOUT anything. I'm just me. That's it, is that so bad?
I still miss SeaWorld. It felt great working there, and no one I worked with seemed fake save for our head supervisor, but supervisors/bosses/managers always seem fake to me. I miss my job, my money and my perks, but I'm actually kind of glad I'm not working there right now; the temperature has not been under 90 for the entire month, climbing up to 100 and higher. The only time it cools down is when it storms, which isn't all that nice either. I'll probably try again for SeaWorld near the middle or end of August, if I can get in for Christmas that would be fantastic. OF COURSE, knowing MY luck, I'll be unemployed for Christmas AGAIN.
I always get depressed when I don't have a job, because when I'm filling out applications and getting few interviews, and then getting nowhere after, it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm not super pretty, I'm chubby, my teeth aren't that nice looking (well....they're a lot better now than they were a few weeks ago) and I always have this nasty feeling in the back of my mind that people here only hire others based more on looks, because I see a lot of 'nice' looking people working, or even really pretty ones (Like at Built-A-Bear....) and it makes me feel even worse. I am worth more than my looks, and I try very very hard to not judge others on theirs (Even if we're all constantly programmed to do so) I've been trying a lot harder to wipe those kinds of thoughts out of my mind. It's not easy, but trying is better than nothing.
Speaking of, I'm back to trying to do more art again. I have a working tablet, a new computer (My old red one kicked the proverbial bucket T_T ) so my (AWESOME) daddy got me a new one (Well, not a NEW new one, it's from a pawn shop) and it's really really nice and I love it and her name is Willow.
I have FireAlpaca (and the free version of Autodesk Sketchbook and will probably be getting the trial of SAI again soon) as my main art program now, and I'm slowly (LIKE A SNAIL) learning all its intricacies.
I am going to be doing the Draw Them All challenge, but it's not going to be the main thing I work on, just something I'll do here and there. I probably won't even do them in order for long, or one at a time. I want to experiment with art styles and tools, so things might get weird and messy as I learn.
I still plan on having a YouTube channel, I've actually already made it but have yet to upload anything. I really wanted to get my shed, furnish it, and do my recordings from there, but that's not happening. I'd like to have it up and running by November, but with how stuff gets stupid around here I'm not betting on it.
No you still don't get to know the name, because I intend to change my name here to the same thing, so I need to make sure no one steals it...because I'm paranoid shush.
I don't intend to write a lot of journals, maybe update it once a month if I have anything interesting to talk about, but without comments or anything that shows anyone's reading, why bother? I don't want to be that person
but if you're trying to have a conversation and no one's paying attention to you, wouldn't you just stop talking? Thought so.
Till next time.