7-14-15: I really need to stop making journals when I'm super upset. It's just so stupid.
No. I'm not giving up my art. I actually can't. I even tried, but I got bored and started doodling without even thinking about it.
I'm going to post two Untitleds to make up for it, maybe even three if I can manage it.
There is not going to be a lot of new art anytime soon though, but I'll get to that in a minute.
In case you were wondering, most of that last journal was directed at my Mom, so....yeah. I got going on a tangent and just was all over the place with that. I think my train of thought derailed and exploded with a fiery vengeance at least five times. UGH.
Job's good. Had two double shifts this past week, meaning my shoulders are aching like hell. But it's okay, I'm getting used to it now and I'm loving my paychecks.
I got to see Inside Out on Saturday, and I love how the Emotions were animated. Sadness is my favourite, I even got one of the cute bags that Subway has right now with her on it. I need a plush, like, now. Nothing new, right?
I finally got my cabinets taken out, but I still can't put my stuff there yet because now the electrical wires and water heater are still in the way. So I gotta get an Electrician to come out and rewire stuff (which will cost between $130 to $200 bucks) and a Plumber to remove the water heater (which I just now realized he never got back to me with a quote, schmuck.) and then obviously I'll have to clean the rust and and stuff off before putting my shelves in. I just want to get it done. :K
I'll finish this later tonight.
Okay so it ended up being the next night instead.
Long story short, my grandfather is dying. He has pneumonia for like, the fifth time, and has been moved to a Hospice House. My Mom and I are currently staying with him at nighttime, and Mom's sister Debbie stayed with him today while we went home and showered and got some stuff to make us more comfortable while we were here. He's been in here since Monday, but the damn place is almost forty-five minutes away from our house, and Mom doesn't like being that far away from him, just in case something happens she needs to be able to get here in as short of a time as possible.
So we stayed in a hotel about 10 minutes away Monday night, then we stayed here with him last night, and we're prepared to stay tonight and probably tomorrow night as well, if not Friday night.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to go to work this weekend or not, we're just playing everything by ear for now. I did already call my work and let them know of the possibility that I might not be working, but I've already discussed the whole situation with my supervisors, so they've been forewarned of this very scenario for a few weeks anyway.
I'm ready for this to be over, but I wish I didn't have to actually be here. It's so uncomfortable being in the same room, watching him breathe, stop breathing for a minute, then start up again. It's...ugh. But I won't make Mom be here by herself, because Debbie doesn't count for anything.
When this is all over, none of us will have much to do with Debbie or her kids, and that works for me. They've never given two shits about US at all, so why should we make the effort for them? After this, the only family I'm going to care about will be my Mom, my Dad, Emily, my cousin Texanna (Our favourite cousin and Mom's best friend that isn't named Me.) and my Aunt Judy (Texanna's Mom, and my Memaw's sister. She sounds just like Memaw and looks like her too. ) Texanna and Judy live in West Virginia, but we've been talking to them nearly everyday during all this. It's amazing how much more supportive a cousin that lives a thousand miles away is than Mom's own sister who is here now. Ugh. Oh well.
I don't know what's going to happen when It happens. I just know it's coming and will most likely be bringing a storm along with it. And it's not even me this time. Well...I'm going to be part of it if one of my cousins in particular dares to say she wishes she'd spent more time with Pap, when she could be here as much as she fucking wanted to but none of them like seeing him this way. Boo-fucking-hoo.
I lost my train again. Fuck.
Till next time.