Surprise surprise, I've been submitting art stuff! Granted, most are a few weeks old or more, but at least it's something!
I really want to start submitting my original characters, but to be totally honest: I'm terrified to. I'm not afraid of critiques or constructive criticism, nor am I afraid of the slight possibility of a troll or flamer, what I'm afraid of is an art thief. I am not popular or well known enough to have others keep thieves from wrongfully stealing my characters. Someone who's much better at art than I am could find me by chance and quite possibly steal one of my characters, draw it and claim as their own, and because they'd be a better artist + more popular with more watchers no one would be the wiser. Am I saying all artist do this? Fuck no. But you and I both know that there is a plague of dishonest people all over the internet, and we both also know what I'm saying is a possibility.
Now you could be saying to yourself, "Well you're a novice artist so your characters can't be all that, why would anyone want them anyway, it's not like they can't make a character that's ten times better themselves why the hell would they want your lousy oc etc etc" And this is all true, but the fear is still there. I can't help it. My characters might not be anything amazing at all, but I made them and I care about them, despite them not being real and stuff. Dare I say they're just as much my babies as my Cat or my plushies? Yup. My Sonic FCs aren't as big of a deal because there are millions of those, so I'm pretty sure mine resemble at least a hundred others by coincidence, which is commonplace with them. Same for my Pokemon characters, since they're not all that special to begin with (hurr hurr I got a Pikachu with a scarf I'm so creative.
) etc etc.
I dunno if I'll ever be comfortable submitting my characters, but maybe one day.
Still no job. Went for a interview at Target, but didn't get hired, even though they still have the Hiring sign up AND they hired a chick with freaking purple hair, but not me? Why? FML.
My grandfather's in the hospital yet again, 5th time this year already, was having problems breathing again. I know he's my grandfather and all, but I don't understand why he keeps on living. He has no life, his memory and senses are going so fast, he can barely walk/see/hear, he just sits in front of the TV all day and does nothing else. He is in EndStage COPD, and while the on-setting Dementia and his current E.Coli infection aren't his fault, I have a hard time feeling bad for him since he brought the COPD onto himself with his 70+ years of smoking. I am beyond ready for him to be gone, not because I don't want to help take care of him, but because he literally has no reason to live anymore. I was ready for it to be over in Feb, when we thought we were going to lose him when he went into Pulmonary Arrest, but nope. Every time now when he goes into the hospital I wonder if that's it, if we'll be getting a call saying he's gone, but every time he comes home again and we repeat this dragging dance over again till the next time.
As much as I hate to say it, what's going to happen is he's going to die in the house, in my sisters room. My Mom will never feel comfortable in her home again, and it's going to be absolutely awful. I'm not looking forward to the future.
I feel such...contempt for my aunt, cousins, and sometimes myself as well. I hate them sometimes because when he dies they'll get to go on with their happy memories of him, while all I'll have left is this empty feeling. I wonder sometimes if I even love him anymore, because I don't feel anything for him. There's nothing left of him for me to feel for. I don't know...i don't know.
Hopefully I can do another movie review journal soon, I've got Big Hero 6, The Book of Life, Song of the Sea, The Boxtrolls, and maybe Dumb and Dumber 2 to watch, so maybe I can get a few of those done. Saw the new Turtle movie, and goddamn did that ever suck so bad, and the dumb fuck's getting a sequel. UGH.
Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon is my new favourite song ever.
I wanna go to Earthday Birthday.
That's it. I'm done. You can go now.